Snap, Crackle, Pop

Our house has a great big porch overlooking a very busy street in Hampton Beach.  All the bars in the area empty out right in front of our home.  We are on the third floor so we have the unique advantage of being able to see everything that happens below us but most people don’t notice us above them.

The first week that my sister Candi and her husband Dave came to visit we spent a very fun night watching all the drunk antics going on … motorcycles revving, girls that could no longer walk straight in their high heels (or f-me pumps), guys puking on the sidewalks and Marcus.

Marcus was a young guy that came to Hampton Beach to pick up a girl.  Possibly this was going to be his first hook up, if you know what I mean (wink, wink).  It was late, he was drunk and the girl he had pursued all night had to go home.  His friends were calling him from across the street “Marcus, she has to go!”.  The girls friends were yelling “She has to go home, Marcus, leave her alone!”.  This went on for a while – the two groups of friends worked really hard to keep these two apart.  Finally, from our third floor vantage point, we saw the two of them slip away behind some buildings and into a house.  About 20 minutes later they both came out – and what a difference!  Marcus had a swagger about him.  And the girl, well, she went into the house in a pretty dress, high heels and an up hair do.  When she came out, her hair was down, she had on sweat pants and flip flops and looked 20 pounds heavier (I guess that’s what happens when you take off your Spanx!).  We followed this sex comedy all night and made a game out of yelling “Marcus”, hiding and watching him look around to see who called him.  We had a lot of fun.

The next time Candi and Dave came up we advanced the porch watching to a whole new level.  We had re-discovered Snappers.  Remember those little white bags filled with some kind of firework grains that popped when you threw them?

Well, Candi and Dave bought a few boxes and again from the protection of our third floor porch we threw them near the drunks!  Most people didn’t even realize it even though the noise was pretty loud.  I think we had more fun throwing, ducking and sneaking around to see their reaction than anything.

Popping or snapping became a regular activity of ours.  Just something to do on the porch as we tried to wind down from our day at the shop.  Again, most people didn’t even realize they were getting popped.  It was a childish pleasure for us.  Just to be clear, we threw the snappers ahead of the person walking – no one got hit, there was no flash or fire, just a popping sound.

My parents stayed for an overnight visit and the snappers came out.  I had changed up my game over the last few weeks.  Whenever I snapped someone, I would announce the reason why.  I didn’t want to snap indiscriminately  – you had to deserve the snap.  I’d see a girl in a too small outfit and say (only loud enough for us to hear), “That outfit doesn’t fit” and then snap her.  “You shuffle when you walk” – snap.  “You could do much better than him” – snap.  Jim’s game was the same – he snapped everyone – no one was safe!  My parents enjoyed watching our little game until …. Jim snapped a baby!  Yes, a baby!  My father was horrified.  In our defense, we quickly told the story of how Candi snapped the cops.  Nope – Jim had gone too far.  My parents went to bed and the snapping was over that night.

Just like any good drug, pretty soon the snappers weren’t enough for Jim.  He wanted something bigger, stronger, a more powerful high.  So, Jim created a MEGA SNAPPER.  He put six snappers together in one package.  We learned that throwing multiple snappers together at one time only produced that many pops = three snappers equaled three pops.  It wasn’t meeting Jim’s needs.  He broke open the six snappers, made a casing out of a Walmart bag and twisted it tight.  When he threw it he it created a snap six times the volume of one!  He was very happy.  He saved these snappers for only very special people.

Eventually the snappers made their way to Tent City.  Jim had bonded with the two fun guys in the courtyard – Doug (Air Brush) and Ethan (Caricature).  Soon snappers were being lobbed back and forth from one side of Tent City to the other.  Sometimes an “innocent” bystander would get snapped in the crossfire.  Jim would sometimes snap the moms and blame it on their kids.

That has been an unexpected plus of this whole kite adventure – for Jim and I to have the chance to revisit our youth – we fly kites, blow bubbles off our porch, watch fireworks, snap and pop people and just act goofy and young.  We both turned 49 while we were in Hampton Beach and I know that we didn’t feel that way!  (I would say that we didn’t look that way either but one person thought Jim was my dad, so …..)!

I think the next blog has to be about our cats who we miss so dearly ….

Dawn & Jim